Here is an An excerpt from Create Abundadance by Zhang Xinyue
Now, please feel the strength hidden deeply in your heart. ‘I want to resist; I want to rebel.’ Perceive that force. If you are well aware of what to do, then do it! Why can’t you take action promptly? That’s because you have an urge to resist in your heart. Let us get a sense of being rebellious as we have admitted…
Together, let us feel that urge to resist.
Now, please close your eyes in quietude, take a deep breath, another one, and begin to meditate.
Who is coming to your mind? How do you feel about that urge to resist? This urge is the impulse to oppose, reject, and do whatever as you wish. Yes, please notice how you feel about that urge. Who is coming to your mind? Your mother, father, teacher, or husband? Who else does this urge make you think of? Your child? Who else? Now feel that urge and experience the feelings brought about by that urge! Ask yourself: ‘Who is coming to my mind?’ Take a deep breath, and carefully experience that urge to resist, in which you may find depressed anger, and symptoms of skin allergy. The urge to resist is self-closing: you do not want to speak, you have a problem with your knees, and most of your feeling of blockage comes from your neck and spine. The rebellious feeling makes you unwilling to do anything, and puts you in a state of being characterized by opposition. If you have found it, then please use your own language and methods to express this tendency! Let this force gush out of your body. Experience the rebellious feeling, as well as your bodily sensations. Relax, relax, take a breath, take another, until you eventually regain composure.
Rebellious people are likely to have problems with their necks or spines; their bodies tend to be stiff. Furthermore, they often run into trouble, and are constantly repressed by others. Are you familiar with the feeling of being repressed? That is, he chooses not to help you while he readily can! Now is apparently the time for him to work, but he must choose not to. When you are suffering, he blatantly refuses to give you a hand although he ought to or has nothing else to do. These are the sentiments incurred as a result of rebellion.
What results can your rebellion bring about? The kind of sadness you feel when others stand by and refuse to help. Don’t you think it is important to release such rebellious feeling? Now let us reenact that sense of rebellion comprehensively. Please close your eyes. Who do you see? Tell him what you have to say, and let us rebel resolutely. At this moment, you do not have to pretend. Let us be concerned about ourselves only. Let us express what has been repressed. If our external expression is rebellious, that’s because we are already beginning to repress our anger. Now let us rebel to our heart’s content! Close your eyes! Be rebellious! Experience it, yes, in this way! Allow your feelings to flow, and your tears to roll down. Let your feelings flow; let your body feel everything; and you are very safe. Given such conducive energy, it is time to let your feelings flow freely. Who does this sense of rebellion make you think of? Who is he? Let him appear before you. Again, my questions is: Who does your resistance make you think of? It does not matter whether you are or you are not reminded of, but who does your resistance make you think of? Now imagine he is right in front of you; imagine you have no fear; imagine you have set aside all those manners and virtues; and please say everything you want to say to him. Say whatever you want to say, ‘Why do you dislike me?’ Speak up; you need to speak up; and no matter what you have to say, just speak up! You can address him directly, and speak up…. You are very safe. Speak up! Keep breathing! Stay with yourself for a couple of minutes. Let feelings be released from your body; let feelings be released from every cell of your body. Keep breathing, and say, ‘I stop resisting, I am good!’ Repeat every sentence three times, another three times. ‘I stop resisting, I am good!’ Please repeat: ‘I have had enough.’ Take a breath; keep breathing deeply! Let this feeling be released from every cell of yours. You can do so by vomiting; and keep breathing! Do not allow your body to bear more than it can. Keep breathing; experience your bodily sensations; and thank yourself for having a courageous soul.
Now, visualize a stream of water flowing from the outer space and the cosmos. Right from your head, it enters your whole body. Visualize this stream flowing steadily to your feet. Let the water continue flowing freely into your cells and bring out the impurities in them, including those residues of medications you have taken in the past, as well as cellular memories of the departed days. Visualize a colored light illuminating your body, and any surface it is supposed to. Imagine there being so many frequencies of love and gratitude in the cosmos. Let yourself become linked to gratitude, joy and love. Retain your sense of gratitude. Be grateful for water. Be grateful for light. Be grateful for all that there is. Now, thank Jesus Christ. Thank Buddha. Thank Dad. Thank Mom. Thank Laozi. Thank Confucius. Thank the whole cosmos. Thank time. Thank space. Connect yourself to joy. Let joy penetrate every cell of your body. Let joy enter into every cell, become pervasive and linger there until it penetrates into and fuses with your entire being. Now, let your heart and body soften. Let us live in gratitude, joy and love. Let your heart and body soften. Relax your face; relax your face. We are joy; we are love; and we are gratitude. Relax your body. Let your body feel every sensation. Now, move your hands freely; move your feet; and let us return to reality.